Sunday, May 24, 2009

coffee tables.

As you may or may not know, I'm co-president of arts council at my school. We do all the arts things. All of 'em. My co-pres Nicole, who is also my lover/best friend decided to publish a magazine this year to document what we accomplished, because not to toot our on horn, we basically dominated. We raised two scholarships for arts students at our school, and yeah.

anyways, in the magazine she wanted some of our school's top "artists" to explore why they were or weren't going into arts. i'm not going in to arts. here is mine. cheeeese.

 I can't express to you how many times I've left a rehearsal ranting about how i would never do a show ever again. I always do though, it's that typical story. The feeling that you get from seeing and being in excellent theatre is incredible - it's absolutely horrible while it's perfect in every way and you'll never really understand it until you do it yourself. Still somehow I find myself going to study Human Rights next year. I hadn't even considered applying for anything but a Bachelor of Arts until I actually wrote it down Social Sciences on the application. I'm not sure why, but I just couldn't fit theatre into my life's path. Maybe I find it too heartbreaking- there is so much opportunity for loss and I've missed the mark so many times- or maybe I don't think I'm strong enough. By the end of The Metamorphosis, I had, in theory, killed my son 3 times a day, five times a week for about half a year. It takes it's toll. There is also the issue of confidence, but we don't need to touch on that. What I do know, is that that heartbreak is the best kind, and I don't think I could be weak in any better way. No matter what outlandish thing I end up doing with my life, theatre will always be a part of it, even if it's not my career because in spite of it all, that feeling is worth it and it's addictive. I'm insatiable.


Nicholas said...

I always say that feeling sad/torn/down etc... is better than feeling nothing at all. I do agree though, having to always "feel" to be able to perform would be too much for me as well.

I always wanted to go into charity work, maybe one day we'll meet at a fancy conference in the middle of Africa :)

Luna said...

this reminds me of what i told my friend joe when he told me he didn't understand why he even bothered with drama. i told him, "drama is like drugs. you know it’s bad for you and it’ll make your head hurt, but it’s just so effing addicting."
simple as that.