Sunday, July 26, 2009

advice

one should never go see the canadian premiere of bare
on the same night as the said person's
coke head ex boyfriend who cheated on them is in the room
i stress this advice even further if
a) one has just recently come out to his or her mother
b) one made out with the boy who played peter at a party once when one and the aforementioned ex boyfriend were "non-exclusive"*
c) one has previously seen the boy playing jason naked, while the director has decided to cut jason's nude scene from the show (so as to avoid further disappointment)

one should also never attempt to drive home afterwords, talk to a boy in a different country, long for a boy in a different country, get lost, get caught behind an accident, miss the merge, end up at a native casino, pee publicly on native grounds, get lost again, and finally return home to find one's neighbour's house on fire all on the very same night as seeing the canadian premiere of bare.

that is of course unless one has plenty of coffee, red bull and is with their best friend, in which case the above could instead make for an incredible adventure, an emotional release of some sort and a very strange blog post that sticks in a certain instructional style for some reason unbeknownst to the writer.



* if it comes to it, one may choose to flirt heavily with the aforementioned cute boy playing peter in front of the aforementioned coke head cheater ex if one so pleases, especially if one can snag yet another kiss, a telephone number and can sometimes take pleasure in revenge of sorts.